Saturday, December 8, 2007

Cold Diggitty Daffodil!

Every winter,
When the great sun has turned his face away,
The earth goes down into a vale of grief,
And fasts, and weeps, and shrouds herself in sables,
Leaving her wedding-garlands to decay -
Then leaps in spring to his returning kisses.
~Charles Kingsley

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours." ~Robert Byrne

It's like Hot Diggitty Daffodil, but instead it's cold. It's the sort of cold where you go outside, and your skin says "Hey, this isn't that bad!" because it takes a few seconds for your skin's protective cushion of air to bleed off. However, you look around, think it's all right, and you take a deep breath. Your gasp of shock is drowned out by the death cries of your nostril hairs, and the wintry gust moves into your lungs, freezes the deposits of tar and polyunsaturated fat, shatters your alveoli, grudgingly warms up, and exhales in a cloud of vapor which soon solidifies around your skull, smothering and killing you.

This is why I'm inside right now.

Antisthenes says that in a certain faraway land
the cold is so intense that words freeze as soon
as they are uttered, and after some time then thaw
and become audible, so that words spoken in winter
go unheard until the next summer. ~Plutarch

Also, because of the cold, most of my other business ventures have ground to a halt. There's no more traffic at all over at ThinkTank Designs, which is my side job of creating environmentally housing for people who want an artistically distinct home that will keep them warm in the summer, cool in the winter, and last longer than any of the stick-built McMansions down the street. The Seniors Guide is also going very slowly, since it's too cold for the salesman to go out and actually get ads. He's old.

Right now, we're all huddled in our house, enjoying the Christmas lights hung from the crown moulding, and trying to teach our middle child that the new baby can't, in fact, withstand a full nelson, a throat punch, or a head-butt. Also, we have to teach ALL THREE kids that since my wife's C-section was apparently performed by a first-time resident, and five of the staples fell out on their own (while three just came loose and got snagged in her clothing, with agonizingly painful results), they should very VERY GENTLE with her. So far it isn't taking, and both kids keep trying to hug and tackle her with good intentions and painful results.

Enjoy the movie down below :) One of my favorite songs, and one of my favorite movies. MWAHAHAHAH!!!

No comments: