Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Fallacious? Outrageous!

Thanks for coming, please stay for the end credits. If you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew, and, um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said fuck so much.

Go out, and rent this movie. No no, don't stop to argue, don't claim you don't have a DVD player, don't tell me you don't like violent movies. Shut the fuck up, go out, and rent this movie.

Then buy it.

Ok, we got a bunch to cover today. This might take a while to type out, I have to keep pausing to do real work as it rolls in, so if there's big pauses in the text, just sort of skip ahead and assume that it wasn't anything important.

Yeah, like that one just there.

"Work Gets Done In The Time Allotted"

Ok, this little gold-plated platitude is heard around my office every few minutes, spoken by a boss who assumes that if he keeps saying it often enough, it will somehow become true (sort of like the Bible). Unlike the Bible, this gets consistently proven wrong, but that never stops it, or even slows it down. It's got logic-proof armor-plating. It slams into the Walls of Reality, and just ploughs through. Yee-haw. It's like Disneyland.

"The Internet is a waste of time,
and that's exactly what's right about it."

William Gibson said that. The author of Neuromancer, Bladerunner, and pretty much the only decent technological prognosticator since Aasimov and Clarke. I finally think I agree with him, too. I'll sit down at my computer, and reflexively hit the ol' Mozilla icon. I'll bloink around on my Bookmark Bar buttons for a while, read Slashdot, do my Kingdom of Loathing turns, read xkcd and Garfield Minus Garfield... then I'll wonder what the hell I'm doing, shut OFF My laptop, and go do something else.

I'll do this six or seven times a day. I'll habitually sit down and try to waste time, but pretty soon my conscious mind says "And we're doing this, why?" I think I'm going through the DTs, because I actually put time into going to sites I HAVEN'T been to in a while, just to have something to do, then I'll shake my head, and go pick up clothes, or sweet the deck, or paint the cat, or something. Or sometimes, if I'm really at a loss, I'll use my computer for work.

I know!

They want to deliver vast amounts of information
over the Internet. And again, the Internet is not
something you just dump something on.

It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled,
and if they are filled, when you put your message in,
it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone
that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material,
enormous amounts of material.

But that? Still fuckin' funny. YouTube continues to entertain me, but only infrequently. I wait for people to send me the gems.

One of television’s great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs.

Alfred Hitchcock, 1966. Man, was he on to something. A conversation at Throkette's 2nd birthday party (obviously not with HER) made me realize that I'm definitely not the only one bored with 99% of TV. Most of my friends rely entirely on DVDs to watch television programming, especially serial shows like Dexter or House. I watch them when they air mostly because I don't have time to rent a season and sit down to watch them, but if a show isn't on at a convenient time, I don't even try to watch it (Sopranos, Battlestar Galactica, Dexter, etc). SOMEDAY I'll get those on DVD, but since I have kids, it ain't anytime soon. I mean, we got Season 2 of The Muppets Tonight (OLD SCHOOL Muppets... ask your parents) and we've only seen Disc 1 of 4. The only show I've liked enough to watch ALL of via the power of the DVD is Farscape, and thats just because it's so good even good shows say "Damn, that's good."

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms. ~ Alan Coren


Maybe I'm just getting old. Maybe I'm aware of my mortality, and I don't want to look back and admire the piles of timesink I created with my finite existence. Maybe I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm better than the mass media. Maybe the mass media is deluding itself into thinking it's good enough for me. Maybe I don't eat enough cheese. Look, that dog has a puffy tail! SHINY TRINKET!

Also, please watch the below trailer, and then go see this movie.

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