With Apologies To...

... Jim Henson.

It's not that easy being big
Having to spend each day the size of a small Jeep
When I think it could be nicer being small, or medium, or petite
Or something much more normal, like that.

It's not easy being big
It seems you blend in with so many stationary things
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
Standing there like a building, or a recliner,
Or cars on the street.

It's not easy being big
It's so easy to crush people you don't always see
And people use you for shade, or for a bench,
Or they lock their bikes to you at lunchtime,
Or spray graffiti on you.

But big's the size of the world,
And big can be warm and friendly-like
And big can be wobbly like an ocean, or important
Like a mountain, or tall like a tree..

When big is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I am big and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be.

Hehe.

So a conversation me and Throkky just had...

Throkky: You should update your blog.
Zalgon: Me?
Throkky: Yes you.
Zalgon: ... what's your blog?
Throkky: Shut up.

So, here I am. I am teh bloggar. Just to take part in the accidental xkcd Googlebombing, I'm going to post "accidentally blogging death" and "died in a blogging accident" a few times, in order to further increase the hits (in 24 hours, the hit response for "died in a blogging accident" increased more than 350,000%. Feel the power of stick figures! FEEL THEM!

That probably made no sense to most of you.

In what scientists are calling "pretty gay," I can't find my shoes.

Gravitational mass is identical to inertial mass. That is, the mount of inertia something has and the amount of gravity it has are effectively the same. What's interesting is that there doesn't seem to be any reason this should be true. One could imagine an extremely large object with lots of resistance to force and no gravity (or vice versa) but this is never observed. You know what? I'm just gonna skip the rest of the buildup and say it: Yo mama's fat.

Welcome to the text-only counterstrike.
You are in a dark, outdoor map.
>GO NORTH
You have been pwned by a grue.

Do you think I could mail a running chainsaw to someone? What about a baby's first word? Can you mail a blank stare? A dizzying height? Pi? Well, did you at least get that package of time I sent you? There was a lot of it, so it will probably take a while.

Related to moral relativism, it states that ethics become subjective only when you approach the speed of light. That is, it's OK to be self-serving, steal, and murder as long as you're going really, really fast. (Note: This is why rap sounds better on the highway at 90 mph).

Allrighty, that's deep enough for one night. Here's some Rocky. The best part of this movie.