Monday, July 23, 2007

I Have No Strong Opinions!

I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called city fathers, who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about what's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!

Man, I post fourteen times this month, and what do I get? Three comments. Dammit, you people are all up in my grill about me not blogging, and when I do, what happens? NOTHING! Yarg! You're just lucky I feel so high and mighty about myself that I've deluded parts of my brain into thinking that, someday, this will be important text, possibly the basis for a religious work. My God BLOGS!

It's late, and I'm trying to think of baby names. ME! BABY NAMES! Everything I think of gets shot down by my internal censor, and if it somehow makes it past that, it gets shot down by Throkky's censor. That's too much censoring! The beeping is driving me insane!

On the advice of my lawyer (Throkky), I will now blog about her being pregnant. SAVE ME, JEEBUS!!

WATCH THE MOVIE! It's Rumsfield, their best work since Whale Tears.


Anonymous said...

Boy or girl, the only logical option is Earthworm Jim

Anonymous said...

Name him something nerdy and put him in a martial arts class at a very early age. Take that jocks!

WackieJackie said...

I love that Simpsons quote. And I can't wait to hear about how Throkky is doing.